What COVID Taught Me About My Research (and Myself)
Where did January go? Time flies by when you spend two weeks in self-isolation because of COVID. Yup, you read that right. I was exposed to COVID earlier this month and spent the beginning of 2022 by myself, experiencing severe symptoms.
During that time, I fell into the following routine: Wake up, take a shower, try to eat, take some medicine, go back to sleep, repeat. I would lay in my bed and wish I would wake up and magically feel better; unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Almost a month later, I still wake up congested and have to mute my zoom calls when I cough from the lingering lung issues COVID has caused.
In the few moments of clarity coming out of the brain fog, I couldn’t help but think about my research on the first-generation student experience during the COVID pandemic. The financial and emotional burden of being alone and sick took a toll, and I was unprepared. Necessary items such as Mucinex DM, Advil Cold & Sinus, Kleenex, Vicks, Gatorade, Pedialyte, and my meals on Uber Eats added up, especially after delivery fees. As a graduate student on a simple stipend, managing these costs was incredibly difficult and stressful.
I felt like my cats were my only friends and roommates at the time, but, thankfully, my five siblings living in the Northeast knew I was struggling. They shared their unconditional support and love by sending me a $50 gift card for my COVID expenses, which I will forever be grateful for. I had mentors and friends offer to buy me groceries or stop by to drop off homemade meals, and others text and facetime me to check in during the day. I felt blessed to have so many loved ones take time out of their busy schedules to care for me because I know hundreds of thousands are facing this pandemic alone and with no support.
Reflecting on the tremendous amount of assistance I received during these difficult times, I realized my experience aligned with one of my recent research findings: 91% of first-gen students reported being willing to support others during the pandemic. In the face of adversity, my resilient community came to my side and demonstrated their kindness and support. This semester, I hope to continue paying this generosity forward by engaging with my first-gen family.
One of my new year’s resolutions is accepting and extending grace to myself. After Christmas, I was ready to hit the ground running and continue working on the First-Gen CORE Research Project, but because COVID had different plans for me, I could feel the graduate student guilt creeping in slowly each day. Although my supervisors encouraged me to take a break, rest, and focus on getting better, deep down, I felt bad for not putting in the hours I wanted to and keeping up with my work. It took me a few days to realize that in order to fully prepare for the next part of my doctoral journey and responsibilities as the lead for First-Gen CORE, I really did need to take care of myself.
Sometimes, the pressure of academia can become a crushing weight if we’re not kind to ourselves. My battle with COVID serves as a reminder that we’re doing the best we can, given the context that we’re in today. This pandemic has been brutal, and it has affected us all differently, so it’s important to practice empathy not only with others but with yourself as well. As I look towards the rest of the spring semester, I’m ready to greet challenges with grace. I hope you will too.
